OK

Finished first final and I did OK.

...

The problem is, I always feel OK, even at times when I did really poor.

I guess, given that, "OK" is pretty much a useless indicator of how well I've really done.

That makes me think:

Since when have I stopped getting angry about myself when I did a really lousy job? Since when have I stopped punishing myself when I really didn't do well? No matter how much I slack off; no matter how much better I could have done; I find it hard to stay mad at myself...

That's not how it used to be... I used to have a set of rules for myself; I used to have a lower bound.

But now the rules and the lower bound have all disappeared.

Everything is OK now.

It's always OK.

Cool......

............. probably it's not a good time to start thinking this and that, another final tomorrow.

Just swallowed 3 unknown pills for cold. Start to feel drowsy now.

Guess I'll take a nap.