Still 1.5 hour to go, Friday afternoon, but I don't feel like working anymore.
Just had a pretty bad argument with one of my best friends, well, it was, rather unpleasant.
He was right on one thing: sometimes I do argue for the sake of arguement, even I don't fully believe the thing i'm defending for, I'll make myself believe it while arguing it.
Even though, I know very well that whatever I said wouldn't prove or disprove anything at the end.
And honestly, he is wrong on one thing: He said I've changed (in a blaming way, at least that's what i felt). He is wrong because: (I have to make my points clear, so i list them out)
1. There's no need to blame, of course I've changed, after living out a different life, everyone will change. People adopt to the environment and it should be a good thing. One can't blame another just because their value is different.
2. It's not "I've change", even it is, it should be "we've changed". Because, simply, in his eye, I have changed, and in my eye, he has changed.
3. I really don't think we have changed. I find Grown up people pretty resistant to change. And you really can't change a person much just in a couple days or months. The world around us is different now, but we are still the same.
Anyways, I have to admit that it was my fault today. Maybe the weary of getting out of this office is really getting on my back. And... if you are reading this, I am terriblly sorry for ruinning your happy mood. I wasn't being defencive, it was worse, I was being negative. I know you worked very hard last couple month, and finally it's pay-off time. I should be, no, I AM happy for you.
However, what I've said was 100% true. I don't think the chance of getting it is high, but if I can find a job I love and live close to the ones I love... what else would I ever want?
Well, I won't find out until then. Humans are known to be greedy. But, until then, that's just what I want... for now.
2 則留言:
Who are you talking about? You have arguments with who???
i am not exactly sure how to tell u how i feel, i just felt a little bit disappointed. maybe i should just explain the whole thing, or what happened in my eyes...
i went to seatle to talk about the contract, and then, i found out those information that i told u, i was excited... so then, i wanted to share that with u guys... then as i spill out the information bit by bit to u, u pretty much translated them into sth that is to compete with ur current job. I felt a little weird at first, but i didn't pay much attentiion to it, but i as keep on talking, i found out that in ur eyes, i am not sharing information with u, but rather, i was bragging all these info to u. Then, i felt bad, NOT THAT I SHARE INFO WITH U,but how u responded. i dont know exactly how you get along with ur other friends,whether there is always this sense of competition or this so called "FACE", to determine who is better or so forth.. i am not sure... but that wasn't my intention. So the reason, i said u have changed is only referring to this specific thing, coz before u werent so much about money and benefits. i still dont think that u are, but prob just at that moment,coz u didnt want to show that u are inferior to me or other people... well, i just wanna say that that was not my intention. As a matter of fact, i never never never expected u to think that i was bragging, just coz the type of friend and the type of people i thought we were. i thought i never have to worry about that with u... i guess, maybe i was not considerate???? maybe i shouldnt have told u what i said? but then, what's wrong with sharing my happiness with my friend, unless he doesnt see them the same way i do....maybe u see them as competitions? i dont know...that's why i said u changed... or i dont know, maybe i changed....but even so, i think these changes are to make us more compatible with our surroundings.
張貼留言