Lack of

Lack of determination and concentration.

Yap, that's me.

Honestly, I treat myself too well.

Before I go elaborate on that, let's review what I've done today.

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一大早九點起床, 跟凱文衝到 Sports Mart 去租鞋子. 結果很不巧的完全沒有凱文的 Size. 沒辦法, 只好乖乖到山上去租.

Cypress... 他媽ㄉ, 真的是要罵一下. Charge 跟平常一樣多的錢, 結果明明就只有一點點雪, 五部纜車只有三部還在動. 三部裡面又有兩部我們上去一次就不敢再去ㄌ. 整條路上滑下來跟滑石頭和滑草沒什麼兩樣. 聽著雪板在腳底下喀啦喀啦作響, 還要不斷提醒自己不能跌倒. 一倒撞到石頭樹根什麼的, 今天就要躺著回家ㄌ.

剩下一部, 本來有兩條路的.

結果一條完封. 算來算去整座山只有一條綠道勉強能滑. 唯一值得慶幸的是 (?), 由於道上冰塊太多, 石頭也不少, 本來只有綠色難度大概算是升級到藍色.

所以勒, 今天我們兩個笨蛋就一直重複在那部纜車跟那條唯一可溜的道上來來去去, 上上下下. 到下午的時候, 整條道上危險地帶我們已經如數家珍.

"小心喔, 前面有是兩大片冰"

"轉彎過去還一堆碎石, 那才要小心勒"

"..."

反正... 從來沒有滑過這麼快樂的雪...

從頭到尾速度應該沒有超過 20 km/hr 以上.....

沒什麼摔, 倒是真的. 摔下去就慘ㄌ.

六點多就已經受不了下山ㄌ, downtown 的拉麵還是一樣好吃. 回來洗完澡凱文就躺平ㄌ. 之前還很大聲跟我說要租電影回來看勒...

...

雖然唉唉叫ㄌ一大堆, 不過這可真是難忘的回憶. 還有, 凱文溜的真好... 應該是我看過排名前三名的. 在這種 Snow Condition 下... 真的蠻了不起ㄉ.

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下面那個遊戲我在 83 關真的卡住ㄌ, 進去留言板有密碼, 拜託誰幫忙破一下.

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okay, back to the determination thing.

The whole story starts when I was chatting with Dean before my last midterm. And something about my university grades came up. About what's the differences between me and him. Why am i only surviving while he is doing pretty great.

And he gave me the answer.

Lack of determination and concentration. And I'm speechless. I have to admit those are my problems.

Well, I treat myself too well.

While on diet, I never hunger myself.

While preparing for a test, I never let myself go too tired.

Lack of determination.

Lack of the will to push myself to the limit.

Some examples:

While Ben is studying for final, he can push himself to the point that he doesn't sleep for 3 days.

I can't. I have to sleep.

He did great in waterloo and I was only okay in ubc. (Ben, I'm sure there are other reasons, but that's just ... that ...)

While Ed is on diet, he can push himself to the point that he doesn't eat anything else other than boiled chicken breast and eggs. And as fat as 120+ kg he still goes to gym every single day.

I can't. I have to eat.

He lost 40+ kg, and I'm just getting fatter and fatter.

I'm such a loser...

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Lack of concentration. Well, this one is obvious.

I'm easily distracted. While studying, I go check internet, I chat on msn, I think of what should I eat for lunch, dinner, and I daydream, a lot.

While I was studying with Ken and Dean, their degree of concentration is amazing. You can talk to them and they wouldn't even bother to respond. Something I can really learn from them...

I'm sure if I concentrate, it'll only take me 30% or less time to achieve the grades I'm getting right now. Or, back in HP, the work I get done.

Sad...

I'm really a big big loser.

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Posting my weakness here won't change a thing.

If the world is that simple... it wouldn't be that much fun anymore.

If anything I've learned for my last 25 years on earth: simply admitting and facing your weakness is NOT ENOUGH. Not even close to enough. It's merely the first step. And if one is satisfied at the first step... the 2nd step will be much much harder.

Well, thanx Dean for reminding me my problems. I'm glad that I DO listen. And thanx a lotta people for setting up great examples for me.

I am trying.

But never tried hard enough.