Different world, we are living in. Of course it's different. She's in Taiwan, I'm here in Toronto. No, I don't mean just the difference in location. I mean the whole world is different. She lives in a high-class world where after work it's about shopping, partying, clubbing, enjoying life. I live in manga, video games and.. more video games.

That's fine tho, I don't think there's anything wrong with everyone having different hobby, and leisure activities. It's just that it's so hard .. 7 years ago I never thought I would say this, but obviously things are different now, it's so hard to find common things that we can talk about nowadays. We have no common friends other than those really old old friends whom we both already lost contact with. We have no common interest other than ... well... I just can't find anything in common. We have nothing to talk about other than asking each other how are things going and the conversation usually leads to nowhere and ends abruptly simply because the lack of things to talk about.

I was going to write her a letter about how much and why I'm still ... I don't know if this is still love or not, most likely I'm just trying to holding on to a dream which I should have waken up from long long time ago; 6 years ago, to be exact.

I sorta planned everything about what should say when she calls me.

Yet.. all plan has failed, miserably. I fail at planning.

Ten

So.. to continue the 10 year topic on a Valentine's Day, it was exactly this day 10 years ago that I met her.

Well, it was really a "met". I was merely looking for some random person to go to the valentine's dance with me. And somehow I asked her out while I know nothing about her except her name.

Funny that I can still clearly remember the moment that changed my life.. forever.

It was a bright cloudy afternoon, the lights were shining through the window as she sat beside the edge of it. It was an ESL classroom that I've never been to. She was moving her legs in the air back and forth as if she's really bored.

So I walked up and asked if she wants to go to the dance with me. She said yes. And I left.

I didn't even look her into the eyes. Well, not like she's going to look back anyways. We barely even know each other.


And it all started from something so random.


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10 years later, she's in Taiwan, probably with someone else. I'm sitting here in office waiting for my next assignment to arrive.

What's going to happen in the next 10 years? I can't help to wonder.

I know, it's not going to help. I know, she's not my girl anymore. I know, this is probably not going to happen. I know, I can't change a thing sitting 30000 km away from her.

I know.

At least I think I do.

Come to this realization that I might hate myself.

I keep torturing myself for reasons... well, for no reasons.

Always thought myself as a happy person tho. It's probably the 10 year thingy that's start getting to me.