星期日, 8月 28, 2005

不痛不快

昨天. 下午跟 Ken, 小龜, Judy, Benny, Kai, Kai's gf, Iven, and... someone else, 去 Spanish Bank 打排球, 橄欖球, 然後在海裡耍寶完, 也差不多累歪了.

吃完飯後再跑去唱歌.

蠻... 普通又不太普通的一天.

---

唱歌的時候聽到一具歌詞. 嚴格講起來是一個辭, "不痛不快".

雖然也已經不是第一次這樣覺得了, 但看到還真的認為蠻貼切的. 我的確是已經到不痛不快的境界. 好像越是折磨自己, 她就越有可能會看見.

慢慢的痛苦成麻痺, 然後麻痺成習慣.

其實, 我一直都在騙自己.

無論那刻骨銘心的傷口有多深, 痛徹心肺的想念有多刺骨, 魂縈夢牽的期待, 終究再也不會成真.

也不是沒有問過自己, 這樣的意義何在? 的確, 一點意義也沒有. 她永遠也無法感受到我的感受, 所以也永遠無法體會我的體會. 無論我再難過, 她也.. 畢竟不是我.

沒有意義是真的.

但我還是會繼續, 會繼續試著努力的等.

至少現在我找到了一個藉口.

我願意繼續難過, 因為我不痛不快.

---

我不是變態, 也沒有自虐的傾向. 很單純的是為了一個我願意付出一切的女孩.

備註: 一切並不包括電動跟漫畫. 我是認真的, 這很重要.

星期五, 8月 26, 2005

www.weather.com - Tenday Forecast

www.weather.com - Tenday Forecast

40, 40, 30.

I can't find weather forecast on Internet for Galiano, so I'm looking at Nanaimo's weather.

Unfortunately, it's Shower (40%), Few Showers (30%), and Few Showers (30%).

...

Oh well... let's hope that the urban legand, "Weather forecast never accurate", is true.

星期四, 8月 25, 2005

Theory of blogging

"We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'."

... there ...

Although I only consider "Shall We Dance?" as an average, surpriseless movie. I really love this passage.

It's not that I want to get married or something (I'll need a gf first), I just love its tone of voice. And the hopeless yet hopeful feeling behind the meaning of the words.

And perhaps that's the reason why I try to write down my thoughts, and things that occurs to me. After 100 years, perhaps, these words will still linger in the cyber-space as a proof of I have lived.

Everybody has their peccadilloes, and that's the beauty of it.

Life is wonderful.

---

This is really dumb; life is not wonderful. Homo sapiens are the ugliest animal ever existed on this stupid little floating dirt we call earth. Don't think I need to back that one up since the examples are countless.

If tomorrow is The End, I'll probably be playing some online game and merrily checking out how many people is on.

---

People who keeps thinking about something that's not going to happen obviously have some huge issues.

That's ... not me. I am down to earth, I think.

Although that's probably not what she wants me to be.

Hell with it.

---

I pray that she won't c this paragraph. There's no way I'd disobey her orders.

---

This is getting funnier and funnier.

We're going to Cultus Lake and do some Water Slides. Wish us have a good time~

World of Warcraft Community Site -> PVP -> Battlegrounds -> Warsong Gulch General Info

World of Warcraft Community Site -> PVP -> Battlegrounds -> Warsong Gulch General Info

Not sure if this is worth noting for.

Today I've joined my first battleground and I was the 2nd MVP. I guess, it's really nice to be able to play a fast-paced 3d dota in WoW.

It was awesome.

I think I'll spend quite some time in Lvl 30...

Google Talk

Google Talk

That's.. well.. again.. something I wish that I can use instead, but I can't simply becoz no one else is using it.

Is 7.0 really going to be the fall of messenger as the prophecy once told?

Personally, I'm sick of all the ads of 7.0

That's why I have to use add-ons to remove them all.

It's funny how everyone else seems to be adopting with those ads in perfect harmony...

星期三, 8月 24, 2005

那就

大概是太久沒連絡了, 事實上, 最近還真的蠻想她的.

---

再兩個禮拜就要去 Waterloo 了.

我也儘量不太想提這件事情.

正常來說應該是要考慮周全後才下決定. 但我好像老是相反. 總是先下決定, 再來想東想西. 到現在只剩十七天了, 除了桌上的新電腦和宿舍寄來的信, 一點也沒有像是要離開溫哥華的感覺.

一點也沒有.

---

大概也是這樣才特別想她.

---

可這幾天每天都忙得沒有時間. 甚至連 Blogging 的時間都快沒了.

除了要看書, 還要 WoW, 打球, 健身, 看漫畫, Jump Super Star...

每天晚上都很累, 都睡得很好.

自然, 胡思亂想的時間也就少了. 這樣應該是好事吧? 至少我再也沒時間去吵她了.

---

有很多時候, 還是想少一點好.

雖然我認為, 永遠不要停止思考, 是一件很了不起的事情.

星期一, 8月 22, 2005

87

正在假裝忘記.

當作假裝忘記.

勉強假裝忘記.

很想假裝忘記.

故意假裝忘記.

還是... 很不小心的.

記住了.

87th, if we're still together.

星期三, 8月 17, 2005

天河

小龜的生日, 就醬安安靜靜的過了.

最近生活太健康, 酒也才喝了一個晚上而已 (而且還是跟一些不相干的人喝).

是說這樣也沒什麼不好的...

最近大概是要走的感覺越來越強烈, 每天都有點懶懶散散的. 好像做什麼事情都可以, 又做什麼事情都沒什麼力; 好像很多事情要做, 又什麼事情都不太想做.

昨天晚上溫哥華很難得的下了一場雨. 印象中從回來以後就沒看過地是濕的, 跟印象中的溫哥華不太一樣.

印象中的溫哥華..? 應該要是各什麼樣子..?

------

她昨晚有打電話給我.

我仍然很想念她.

星期一, 8月 15, 2005

週末ㄋ?

Technically speaking, it's Monday for 40 mins already.

This weekend past like flying.

And what's going on in Japan this week? How come no new manga coming out? I've been waiting since last thursday...... and waiting is a realy tiresom business.

I was studying last friday night coz of the midterm on saturday morning.

After the midterm, we went Wreck Beach again. Other than turtle, Young tagged alone as well.

What happened that day at Wreck Beach was a long story. As I'm too tired to finish it now, perhaps I'll talk about it later.

Today we went work out in the morning and all afternoon I was painting our deck.

Thus, this weekend has disappeared. Gone with the wind.

4 more weeks before I leave Vancouver.

星期六, 8月 13, 2005

Eh..

今天裝ㄌ有生以來第一顆假牙. 到現在都還不太習慣, 是說.. 這假牙也太像真的了吧?

重灌小龜爸電腦的時候一直出問題, 似乎以前也出現過相同問題, 可已忘記是怎麼解決的了. 現在在等他送 1.44" 磁碟片過來. 看能不能變張 Xp 的 Boot Disk 出來.

在等小龜來的時候把上面 Banner 換成 Night Elf 的 Symbol.

事實上... 還蠻不搭ㄉ......

讓我想想放什麼上去會比較好, 大概還是要綠色系的才行.

或是黃色系的?

本來是想放 LotR, 結果想來想去最後還是決定拿 WarCraft 來開刀.

不知道大家有沒有什麼好介紹? <-- 是不是只有香港人才醬講阿?

星期五, 8月 12, 2005

星期四, 8月 11, 2005

Set and Ready

Everything's set.

Well, almost everything.

I've got a place to live, a new computer and a one-way plane ticket.

By "one-way" I don't mean literally, I really got a one-way ticket to Waterloo. For some reason the girl who sold me ticket told me if I'm not sure of the returning date, it's better to just buy a one-way ticket.

And that's my first one-way plane ticket ever in my life.

------

Chinese Valentines is just around the corner, and god knows how much I miss her.

------

I don't want to sound dramatic or anything, but I'm a little nervous now that I'm really going.

For some strange reason, it feels like I'm even more nervous than the time I was going to work in Vietnam. Why's that? Waterloo is just another town in Canada. I'm not even leaving this country.

Perhaps, it's because at the time I went Vietnam, I could still turn back at any time I want. But this time is dead or alive.

Well, of course, I'm exaggerating. Other than that I might freeze to death in Waterloo, what's the worst that can happen? After I spend 5 years in Waterloo and finally realized that I can't be an acturary, then I come back to Vancouver or go back to Taiwan to find a job. Hopefully still a computer-related job, if I'm not too behind. Oh, let me add this, at the age of 30.

That sounds fun...

------

At any rate, it's a little late to change my mind. Plus, I'm not going to change my mind.

I'm not sure if it's a good thing or not, but I do tend to think little to nothing while deciding big steps like this. And I don't listen to the others, not even her.

3 years ago, she told me don't go Vietnam; I went anyways.

last year, she told me don't come back; I came back anyways.

She said nothing this time.

------

Now the only one who seems to hold the opposing idea of me going to Waterloo is Ken. As my best friend, I hate the fact that he's almost right about everything all the time.

Well, at any rate, he didn't say much. And again, at any rate, I'm going anyways.

While I'm usually an easy-going person, I can be stubborn sometime. And I don't think that's a good thing.

But that's just... me...

------

Ben's doing EVO World Championship in Las Vegas right now, sincerely wish him the best luck~

------

That's my first blog on my new computer. And it's super long because I'm waiting for WoW's patch to finish download. It's only... 59% now. God! This is taking forever.

------

August 10th. I have a midterm on saturday. Next weekend I'm going to Seattle. At the end of August little turtle, judy, ken and me are going to Galieno Island for a 3-days-get-away.

Small turtle has successfully reserved a cottage for us on 28-30. Honestly, I really don't think he can do it until he really pulled it off. Why did every cottage I called were all fully booked, but he can easily find vacant ones? Honestly, I still can't figure that one out.

Well, I guess I ... well ... maybe I give up too easy.

But believe or not, I really did called 10+ cottages but they all said no to me. But small turtle gets lucky on the first or second try. Odd...

He's just that good at making reservations.

Turtle, if you are reading this, I wasn't 裝孝ㄟ, I really did called 10+ cottages. And I guess I own you an apology for not believing in you at the first place. ^_^

Thanks a lot, we'll have an awesome trip.

------

A little off topic, I am.

Back to the getting ready to Waterloo thingy.

Instead of the more expansive Large Single Room, I booked a smaller room and I couldn't move in until 9/11.

I was planning on going to Waterloo at 9/2, but now I have to move it back to 9/10.

It's rather inconvenient to move in on 9/11 since school starts on 9/12.

But since our Galieno trip is on 10/28 to 10/30, I guess it's a good thing that I have a couple more days to rest and say goodbye to others before I leave Vancouver.

Plus, plane ticket is mysteriously cheaper on 9/9 - only 200 CAD. If I were to go on 9/2, it was 275 CAD.

So... I guess, overall, it's a good thing for me.

Other than that I'll have a rush start at Waterloo and I'll have one week less to spend with Ben. Well... I guess... since I'll stay in Waterloo till like forever, 1 week is a reasonable loss.

After all, I didn't do it on purpose. You gotta forgive me, Ben.

------

78%, estimated to finish in 30 mins. Guess... I'll stop here then.

My first blog on my new computer.

------

I miss her like hell.

星期一, 8月 08, 2005

My Diet

Speaking of my diet.

Tis the 6th day already. Nothing dramatic has happened yet.

The only thing i know is that i'm constantly tired.

Who knows that dieting can be so somniferous?

I want to WoW..... >< .....

星期日, 8月 07, 2005

World of Azeroth

在還沒決定要不要在去 Waterloo 前換電腦跑 WoW 之前, 最近對 D2 又有點心動.

1.11 看起來實在是有點有趣. 雖然說入手機會很小, 畢竟實在沒有那個美國時間再把誰練到 Hell Level 了.

早上在 Check Battle.Net 的時候發現一個很有趣的現象. 現在 WarCraft 3 四大 Server 的 Solo Ladder 榜首剛好四個種族各佔一方.

US West - 56 Human
US East - 53 Undead
Europe - 58 Orc
Asia - 60 Night Elf/Human

好吧, 雖然在 Asia 第一名使用最多的是 Human (多ㄌ 32 場), 但是 Night Elf 是 Asia 最強勢的種族.

Blizzard 雖然對 Hero Usage 一直束手無策 (或坐視不管), 但是 Game Balance 真的做到其他遊戲望塵莫及.

Random 玩家出乎意料的竟然比較吃虧. 排名大概都在 20 ~ 30 幾名左右. 本來還以為 Random 在高手領域會是最吃香的種族...

------

看來最強的還是韓國人.

------

另一方面, 日本人不知道在搞什麼. 好像真的很難接受國外來的東西. 自己做的遊戲連啪青哥都可以排上第一名, 外國遊戲做的再好也上不了前五名.

其他方面我不清楚, 至少在遊戲市場是給我很強烈的這種感覺.

但又不能說日本人的接受度不高. 日本玩家反而是最容易接納新遊戲的族群......

想來想去多半還是跟排外有關. 大概想法是: "等把自己遊戲玩完了再嘗試其他國家的遊戲". 但他們自己出的遊戲就已經玩不完ㄌ...

看來如果沒有什麼戲劇性的變化, X360 要在日本贏過 PS3 幾乎是不可能的任務. 比較有可能的是在美國贏過 PS3, 然後在歐洲戰場兩台主機再一決雌雄.

大概是我評論看多了, 也對 X360 的日化帶著悲觀的看法. 雖然微軟很努力的想要打進日本市場, 但幾乎所有評論員都抱著 "看你怎麼死" 的態度在看 X360 的日本市場.

------

還要多久才能看到 Rev 的搖桿呢?

星期六, 8月 06, 2005

Letter

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable."

------

While I was searching thru my e-mail box trying to sort out which waterloo prof have I missed sending e-mail back, I found an interesting old letter sitting in my "SENT" box.

It was written by me EXACTLY ONE YEAR ago. Here's a replica of this letter:

Date: Fri, 6 Aug 2004 09:42:50 -0400 (EDT)

Subject: 21:32

To: Rola

I'm leaving... in 30 min.

My blog has our "tentative" schedule when we get there.

But as you know, nothing goes exactly as planned. Especially when it's
a rush plan.

Anyways, we'll survive.

By the way, I didn't tell my parents that I went to Ken Ding. If
anything happened to me, please let them know that I love them so very
much.

You know, like car accident or I get washed away by the ocean.

And in that case, you get to have my GC.

It's weird to think of these things before leaving, but at any rate, I
thought of them.

To be honest, I'm excited. Haven't had a trip for so long. Especially
with really good friends. Too bad that you couldn't join us.

I'll miss you, as usual.

See you in a couple days~


So... It has been one year already....... Miss you guys alot..

星期五, 8月 05, 2005

japan.htm -- 日本國立醫院減肥餐

japan.htm -- 日本國立醫院減肥餐

By the way, that's what I'm having right now.

On Day 3.

If it's useful... I'll let everyone know...

Cultus Lake

Was going to the Water Park beside Cultus Lake but ended up in Cultus Lake.

Got my first boat, named her Trinity, after Neo's wife.

Note that, Neo has nothing to do with NeoXaser. I choose the name NeoXaser way ahead of the times of The Matrix.

It was a beautiful lake and I would probably enjoy it so much if I wasn't on diet.

Stupid diet. >< .

星期三, 8月 03, 2005

Yahoo!奇摩新聞 - 全球每秒產生一個部落格

Yahoo!奇摩新聞 - 全球每秒產生一個部落格

55% 是吧? 機會還蠻大的.

Bowling Night

Weird.

It's not that I have nothing to blog. Just that I was either too busy or too tired to blog anything for the past 2 days.

Yesterday we went horseshoe bay to drive boats.

And whenever I take the wheel, accident occurs. That was amazing. At the end, I have successfully damaged all 3 fans of the propeller, Judy's forehead and Turtle's right hand.

I'm a ... dangerous driver. Period.

Tonight was bowling night, and I've successfully scored more than 100+. TWICE IN A ROW!!!

OMG!!! Finally my talent of bowling has revealed itself. Perhaps I ought to seriously consider about going down the road of Pro Bowler.

星期一, 8月 01, 2005

Congrad...

For the first time ever since I came back, I slept early and wake up early.

5:30 in the morning. Yesterday this is the time I went to bed.

...

A lotta of interesting things happened last night though.

The first thing I can recall was that, all of a sudden, I woke up at the middle of the night, and as I'm waking up, the rain started to pour.

As if I predicted the rain.

It was a somewhat magical and mysterious feeling.

After about 3 minutes, the rain died, and I can feel myself falling back to sleep.

---

Then I've had a couple pretty bad nightmares.

Well, the thing is, I don't usually get nightmares. I can't even remember when was the last time I've ever had nightmares because usually my dreams are happy and delightful.

1st one was that I felt the wall behind me (I was sleeping against the wall) had opened up like there was a secret door. And I can feel that some one's hands thrusting out of the opened space behind the wall and try to strangle me with a towel or something.

It was an awful feeling while you don't want to believe that the wall can open up behind you while you were so certain that you heard the wall had opened up...

Well, and then that guy who tried to strangle me turns out to be birdy (I'm not making this up) and he was meant to play a joke on me. For some reason he had come back to Vancouver and was staying at my place. There, mystery solved.

What about the ... open wall...? Well... it was a dream, how'd one expect everything to make sense in a dream?

---

Well, that wasn't the end.

But the 2nd one is hard to explain. It involves some other dreams I've had before, and the first part of that dream wasn't a nightmare.

It turns out I sometimes have these... consecutive dreams like episodes of movies or TV-series which connects together. I'm pretty sure I'm having like 3 or 4 different kinds of movie-like dreams going on at this moment.

They don't appear often. But they do come back once every while.

Anyways, this one is that I'm trapped in an old and shattered office building and was harassed by gangsters to stay in the building and work for them.

And I was trying every single way to get out of there.

Finally after I sneaked out, I ended up in 廣州 or something... it wasn't a real nightmare, but it wasn't pleasant at all. Knowing that some gangsters are controlling your life and hunting you down every single day...

Well, I was glad when I woke up and knowing that I'm safe on my bed.

I guess that's the only good thing about nightmares, makes you appreciate the real, otherwise miserable life.